Well...a lot has changed since the last time I wrote...I realized what an absolute whiner I was being last time...wow...

Anyhow...let's see...we have moved. We now live near Ft. Benning, GA. On the day that Jeremiah was supposed to sign into his new unit, he got a phone call and apparently some new orders. That day, we found out we had less than 2 weeks to move down to Benning with no idea how long we will be here. Luckily my Aunt and Uncle live near the base and Victoria and I are staying with them. So, we packed the whole house up, said goodbye to our friends, and moved our butts down South again. This trailer was pulled behind the biggest box truck we could find, plus we had my truck and the Bronco filled up with stuff! Whew! Almost as soon as we were unpacked (into storage garages), Jeremiah reported to his company and Victoria and I went down to DisneyWorld with some friends. We have now lived here about 3 weeks and we're settling in just fine.

Disney World was AWESOME!! I had no idea what to expect. It was my first time ever going and I was in for a bit of a shock, but it was wonderful. There were some very long days, some very stressful moments, some frustrations, sweat, and tears, but we saw so much, met several characters, took lots of photos, rode some rides, and saw some shows. It really was great. Taking a 3 year old was pretty amazing because everything was so real for her. She would run up to me after seeing the characters saying "Mommy, they really ARE real!!"...the picture here says it all!



I am one class away from my Associates degree and am moving right into the Bachelor's program for my Business degree with a specialization in Advertising. I am a bit nervous, but I know it will be a good thing in the long run.

My aunt and uncle (and cousins) have been so gracious to us. They have given us so much to stay here and have been so wonderful with all of us. Right now we are all still trying to figure out what goes where and that kind of thing, but I can not complain. The food, company, and hospitality have been wonderful!

Victoria and I have been sick the last 2 weeks...started out as Strep throat for me (she was on antibiotics to keep her from getting it) and then ended up with a head/chest cold that is finally dwindling away (I hope!). Now Victoria has been fevery and hasn't been eating well today and yesterday so I am praying that it goes away quickly.

She has been sleeping in my bed which bothers me...I don't want this to become a habit, but not sure how I'm going to stop it. There isn't room for her bed here, but I think I can go get her mattress and put it on the floor and make a little sleeping pallet up for her. I would really like to be able to stop this before it becomes something I will regret later (although I'm soaking up the loves and kisses while I can!!).

On my to and from Disney, I was able to stop at my BFF's house and hang out with her and her beautiful babies! It was wonderful to be able to love on both Abbigail and Caine and it was awesome to be able to hang out with my bestie. :) I miss her already, but it's nice being so close!!

Let's see...other than that...not much has changed. Still having fertility issues, but not able to do much about it at the moment. The only thing I can think of to do is to lose weight and I'm doing that...

So, I'm working on it...still haven't even started exercising yet, so I need to add that in to eating right and I think I'll see even more weight drop off. It has been a good change and a surprising one. I know that I now weigh less than I did when I got pregnant with my daughter and not much more than I weighed when I got married...almost 10 years later, can't complain! :)

Prayers are always appreciated for everything in our life...I will try to keep everyone updated! :)

It's hard to keep your hopes up when nothing goes right...

I am so tired and frustrated with always being the positive person...there are so many things I am learning I have absolutely NO control over, so what's the point. Maybe I should just be a bitch...maybe not.

You know...after doing daily injections, you start to add hope to hopelessness and you expect that SOMETHING will work...well, apparently not for me. I don't know what step is next, but at this moment, I am feeling quite hopeless and frustrated and annoyed and hurt and devastated and pissed off and a multitude of other negative feelings...

You add that to the fact that Jeremiah doesn't seem to be able to get anything he was wanted or needed out of the military so far (NOTHING seems to be going right there, either) and it's just been a SHITTY week.

On a different note, my birthday weekend was fun. Thank you to my friends and hubby for making it so. :) I guess I can still get drunk for a while...

Shots for my birthday!!

I will definitely be doing shots for my birthday...two different kinds...

Needle shots in my tummy daily (more fertility drugs) and the liquor kind (maybe not shots, and maybe not daily, but I will be drinking). Dammit...I'm turning 30 tomorrow...I can do what I want.

I think most people set up goals for themselves in life to hit by certain timelines...I hit several of mine by this age, but not nearly all. I am very happily married with a beautiful daughter and a good life, so I can't complain much. I am still going to college, but am just a few months from an associates degree and moving right into my Bachelor's program. Still not quite sure what I want to focus on in the Bachelor's program, but I have a few ideas. I did not hit my weight goal, but I did lose some weight...it would help if I added an exercise program into eating better, but it's a start. Other goals I had I have no control over what-so-ever, thus the belly shots, and that's ok for now...

Anyhow...we are planning on going out for my birthday on Saturday night...to Hibatchi and then maybe to a bar or two. Still need a babysitter to do this, since the babysitter I had in mind backed out... :( Some of my friends and I are going to party and dance our arses off even if Bailey watches Victoria.

Been busy with my princess recently...we had a princess tea party, have been going swimming, to the splash pad, got her haircut, and just playing around the house. She had her 3 year wellness exam...doing just fine. She LOVES playing on my old computer. She has a video game that she knows how to load and play and it's pretty impressive to watch her figure it out.

I also went and had my hair done...added some stop-sign red highlights into it. :) I am sure I'll get some photos up here soon.

Well....looks like we'll be staying in North Carolina a while. Time to call the Realtor, renew the lease, and start painting this house. I want to tear down some wallpaper and get some color up on these walls.

Ok, got to feed the kiddo (and myself!).

Been kinda out of it...

I don't know what to write about...I have been through some stuff lately...obviously some fertility stuff, plus some military family stuff, lots of homework, and some mom's group stuff.

I feel like I'm constantly frustrated or annoyed about something and I feel so bad for my daughter and husband.

I have been busy with Victoria too though and have enjoyed that. We went to White Lake Water Park in Elizabethtown, NC this past Monday. That was fun!

We also went canoeing on the river this week, which was also fun and adventurous. The kids were awesome and we went swimming in the river & pond and had a picnic lunch.


My nieces are in town for a while and we were able to spend some time with them a couple of times, eating dinner, having a sleepover, going swimming, and going to the park. I love those little girls and have had a blast with them. We are going to miss them when they go back home. Victoria asks for her cousins all the time now.


Right now I'm working on finals in one class, just finished one for the other class which means I started 1 new class this week and will start another new class next week. Almost done with my Associates and then to start my Bachelor's program.

I am mostly just trying to avoid thinking about anything fertility wise...at least for another week or so. Ugh...the waiting sucks.

Oh, and I turn 30 on the 25th...I have mixed feelings about this...

Fertility Gods...

There are HUNDREDS of fertility Gods and Goddesses, so...whatever one I need to pray to, I pray to you for fertility!!

(yay to Wikipedia)
A fertility deity is a god or goddess in mythology associated with fertility, pregnancy, and birth. In some cases these deities are directly associated with sex, and in others they simply embody related attributes.






Of all of the Gods and Goddesses, my favorite would have to be Venus.

But, being that I was raised as a Christian, I will pray most of all to the holy trinity and the most fertile woman in the world...the only one who has ever done it without sex...Mother Mary. So, Mary, mother of Jesus, please, bless us in this fertility journey. In God's name, Amen.

Busy as a me...

I am soooo glad not to be sick anymore (well, mostly over it...still a bit of a cough). I can finally leave the house and go do stuff with my baby and my hubby!

Today my little mermaid and I went swimming and had a blast! She is such a little fishy (she says mermaid) and swims all over the place. Swim lessons was one of the best things I've ever done.

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment early in the morning and learned how to give myself injections of a fertility medicine that I will do for at least the next week and hopefully all of this will result in a baby for us. :)

After the doctor appointment, we went to a children's museum in Lumberton, NC. It was cute and we had a lot of fun. It was like going to an indoor park basically, which was nice because it has been SOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot outside. Everyday has been "feels like" over 100 degrees. ICK!

Still no word on My Love's situation, so we are taking it day by day at the moment and hoping that the Army pulls through for us.

Someday will be my day...

So, in the past two weeks, I have had 4 people I know come up pregnant...one of which was not trying and the baby was unwanted...the other 3 have been trying for a while and I honestly am happy for them. I just wonder...why not me? When will it be my turn?
It's easy for all of you who are pregnant, or who get pregnant SUPER easy, to tell me to "stop trying" because GUESS WHAT? I can't! I can't just stop wanting and I can't stop "trying" because I have to have medical intervention at this point in my life to be able to ovulate to make a Gosh darned egg to come out to GET pregnant...so :p.
My best friend just had her second baby and a TON of people I know are pregnant right now...everyone I see in the stores, restaurants and everywhere else I go are pregnant or have brand-new babies...today is just kind of a pity-me day and I'm frustrated and scared. Scared that our next step, Artificial Insemination, will not work, and then who knows what...I don't know...I guess I should just keep focusing on me and losing weight...AAAAAAARGH. stupid body.

And on top of all of that...two of the ones that are pregnant were my confidants in this struggle...and now I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. I am tired of talking about it to people who CAN'T understand (through no fault of their own) and now I feel like they can't either...they, of course, now just say...it will be your time soon. AND I'm sure my friends are tired of hearing about it from me...just makes me sad.