I am exhausted...I drank too much last night and stayed up too late, but I had a great time (I think)!I stepped on the scale today and discovered I'm down 3 lbs from last week. Not as much as I would hoped for, but...considering I haven't been exercising, and I haven't been doing THAT good on eating...I am happy with losing any.
Even this small amount makes me want to work harder for it...so, it's on. It's time. I have no other choices.
I have decided that I am pretty much screwed when it comes to fertility, and the ONLY known "cure" for PCOS is to lose weight...soooooo...I have to.
The clomid didn't work for me, I know that now and I know that it most likely won't work, which means that other ovulatory drugs won't work for me either. So, if I want to have another baby, I have to lose weight.
My goal, long term, is 38 more pounds. Shorter term...by my birthday, I would like to lose 15. I don't think that is unreasonable or unrealistic.
How come you "like" all of this stupid crap? Does it benefit you somehow to "like" 'when dogs pee on trees'?
If you keep saying all of the negative things in your life, I will probably hide you...or I already have...and if I NEVER comment on anything you do...you've been hidden.
I hate all of you fertile bitches, but then again, if you're pregnant, I can drink a beer right now and you can't!! So HA!!
I think it's funny that we all get on Facebook to talk about the weather.
Is Facebook really the place for politics? I try really hard to stay out of political issues on Facebook because I know some of my friends disagree with my viewpoint and I don't want to hear theirs!
It's DIPSHIT week...if you know someone, or if you yourself are a dipshit, please repost this in your status...cause I think your son, daughter, husband, wife, mom, dad, gramma, friend, dog, cat, lizard, whatever ones are STUPID AS SHIT.
Facebook is not going to charge you for use. SHUT UP!
If you have to spread the word around about a virus via status update, you deserve to get the virus.
Yes, Facebook is constantly changing what information they can share, because they are a business...they want to make money...(and if they don't...they might really start charging LOL) duh.
Ok, that's enough. I know I am not the most positive person all the damn time, but I try to remain positive on Facebook. So...there's my rant for the moment. :p
Ok, so I have had some people ask me for my favorite dessert recipes. I am pretty proud of my desserts, so here are a few...(the photos are probably not going to be mine because I don't typically take pictures).
1. Stir together rhubarb, strawberries, cornstarch, and 1/2 cup of brown sugar.
Put in baking dish.
2. Stir 1/2 cup of brown sugar, oats, flour, and cinnamon.
Stir in butter until crumbly. Sprinkle over mixture.
3. Bake for 1 hour at 350.
4. Best if served warm with some vanilla ice cream. YUMMY!!!
This is one of my and my families favorites. I know it takes a while to make, but it is SOOO worth it and it's a wonderful summer dessert!
Cherry-Berries on a Cloud
**This recipe is from Betty Crocker**
Meringue
6 egg whites
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 can (21 oz) cherry pie filling
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 cups sliced strawberries or 1 package (16 oz) frozen strawberries, thawed, drained
1. Heat oven to 275°F. Grease bottom and sides of 13x9-inch pan. In large bowl, beat
egg whites, cream of tartar and salt with electric mixer on high speed until
foamy. Beat in 1 3/4 cups sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time; continue beating until
stiff and glossy. (IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MERINGUE, PLEASE GOOGLE IT.) Do not underbeat. Spread in pan.
2. Bake 1 hour. Turn off oven; leave meringue in oven with door closed 12 hours.
3. In large bowl, mix cream cheese, 1 cup sugar and the vanilla until smooth. In
chilled medium bowl, beat whipping cream until stiff. Fold whipped cream and
marshmallows into cream cheese mixture. Spread evenly over meringue. Refrigerate
at least 12 hours but no longer than 24 hours.
4. In medium bowl, mix all topping ingredients until well blended. Spoon over
individual servings of dessert. Store in refrigerator.
Pink Lemonade Pie
(thank you to Uncle Larry for sharing this one!)
(the picture shows a topping that I have never used, but this is a yummy, sweet-tart dessert!)
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese- softened
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (6-ounce) can pink lemonade concentrate, thawed
Few drops - red food coloring
1C whipping cream, stiffly whipped
1 graham cracker crust
1. In a large mixer, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in sweetened condesned
milk, lemonade and food coloring if desired.
2. Gently fold in whipped cream. Chill mixture for 30 minutes or until it mounds
slightly when dropped from spoon. Pour into crust and freeze until firm.
3. Let sit at room temperature 10 mins before serving.
This morning, I got a text message from a friend asking if I wanted to go walking on this trail system on base that is sandy and hilly (The All American Trail, for locals). I hadn't showered yet, so what the hell, right? I decided to go. I threw some clothes on (I was in jammies), dressed Victoria, shoveled down a 1/2 cup of applesauce and grabbed a slice of whole grain bread and left. We walked 4 miles in very hot (84 w/no wind, LOTS of sunshine) weather each pushing strollers and with Bailey. It felt awesome sweating and chatting and getting a great workout. I drank 24oz of water on the trail and on the drive home, then re-filled my bottle at home and already finished it off again...great, only 4 more bottles to go today (my eyeballs might float).
When we got home, Bailey drank a ton and laid on the floor panting (wish I could do that sometimes) and I made lunch. We age a low glycemic lunch today (I think) of pasta soup with chicken broth, veggie burgers, and fruit. We also had a small piece each of strawberry-rhubarb cobbler that I made last night.
So, so far, day 1 is going great! We are planning to take Victoria to her first movie ever in a theater, How to Train a Dragon to Fly, and I will abstain from gorging myself on popcorn and sodas. I am not going to NOT eat any, I will just not eat as much as I normally would.
Tonight for dinner, pork chops, veggies, baked beans, and wild rice. I will probably drink some almond milk (I LOVE this stuff!) with it and maybe we'll nibble another small piece of cobbler. :) Yummy!
So, I have discovered something about myself...being Polycystic, I am very likely to be insulin resistant, thus the Glucophage (medicine for diabetics) that I am on (2000mg/day). That being said...what does that mean? It means, basically, that I have a higher chance of becoming diabetic later on in life, that I have higher chances of heart complications, kidney damage, vision loss, and many other problems from insulin resistance and diabetes. Insulin resistance occurs when your body is unable to properly use insulin to regulate glucose levels in the blood. Symptoms?? Acne, weight gain, high blood pressure, sugar cravings (carb cravings), hirutism (facial or other body hair on women), and more. Well, I have SOME of those traits (thank GOD not all!).
So...now what do I do to keep from becoming diabetic, a path I do NOT want to go down. EVER. Well, I lose weight. Simple, right? Well, maybe for you, but for someone with PCOS and insulin resistance, losing weight is not so easy. Really. There's proof. So, you would think that a LOW carb diet would work best, right? WRONG!!
A low fat, low glycemic index diet is the best diet for women with PCOS. What does THIS mean?? Ok...eat carbs...LOTS OF THEM! But, the right kind of carbs! Not white bread, but whole grain bread, not chocolate chip cookies, but oatmeal cookies, not white rice, but brown rice, etc. One of the keys to this "diet" (which I'd rather call "lifestyle") is to eat a balanced diet. Remember the food pyramid that we all saw in grade school? Where grains, legumes, cereal, rice, pasta were on the bottom? It is still relevant. We still need to eat that way. I didn't really explain what the glycemic impact of food was...ok, the glycemic impact of food is how fast the food turns to sugar in the blood. I need to eat LOW glycemic index foods so that they have more fiber and raise the blood sugar slower than that of a high glycemic index food. This will keep me feeling fuller, longer, and by doing that, I will consume less calories in a day and less fat.
The low carb diets that are so popular (Atkins, Zone, South Beach) are loaded with high fat calories. Calories from fatty meats, butters, milk, cheese, etc. These kinds of fats are known to attribute to heart disease, and with PCOS, I already have a higher chance of that...For my heart, I need to avoid foods that are high in saturated and trans fats, like fatty red meats, whole milk dairy, butter, stick margarine, chicken skin, fried foods, etc.) and keep to using things like olive oil, fish, lean meats, veggies,skim milk (I can still drink 1% milk, but I should cook with skim to reduce fat) etc.
Oh...and don't think I'm going to lose weight without exercise. Geez...if you were to ask my husband how to lose weight, he'd simply say "Eat less, move more!". Yup, that is what I need to do...eat less bad foods (more good ones), and move more. Move more in my daily life. Walk Bailey (the dog) more (I'm sure she'd LOVE THAT), play more with Victoria outside, do more housework (can we say Happy House!), ride my bike, park further away at the Wal-Mart, etc.
So, long story shorter...I HAVE to lose weight. I have to do this for my health, to get pregnant, to be happy, to show my daughter a healthy way of life. I have to do this for me. I am hoping that this is the beginning story of a great journey of weight loss.
I have found some inspirational stories about other women with PCOS that have already conquered this journey, and in one of their words: "You may have PCOS...but PCOS does NOT have you!!"
One of my very best friends is my mom. I can only hope that my daughter will love and look up to me like I look up to my momma. I have always sought advice, comfort, and love from her and I always will. Mom, I love you. This song is for you.
And I can hear you calling my name your healing hands smooth away the pain and I can hear you whispering it'll be alright you'll stay until the night breaks into day
(Chorus) you are my light in the dark you stand beside me you take my hand show the way you're here to guide me you give me the strength that I need you giver me shelter you gave me life you give me love you are my mother
and when you hear me calling your name (I hear your voice) you touch me with your chosen words everlasting faith everlasting love is the greatest gift you have believing understanding me
(Chorus) you are my light in the dark you stand beside me you take my hand show the way you're here to guide me you give me the strength that I need you give me shelter you gave me life you give me love you are my mother
closer closer closer to heaven are you (Repeat...)
(Chorus) you are my light in the dark you take my hand and show me the way you give me the strength that I need you gave me life you give me love (Repeat)
I know how blessed I am to have my beautiful daughter, my love, my reason for this day. Happy Mother's Day to everyone!
Anyone that knows me knows I am not usually a grumpy or sad person...typically I am a pretty peppy person with a happy-go-lucky attitude, so I am issuing an apology for my attitude lately. I am trying very hard not to let everything get to me, and I am working on staying positive.
Today my daughter woke me up by saying, loudly, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" over and over. It was so cute. I couldn't help but to laugh and get out of bed.
We went to a kids museum and lunch with friends today, it was a good time. After Victoria's nap, she turned on her little radio and asked "Mommy, I want you to dance with me." I love this little girl. She wanted to spin around in circles and chase each other and just be giggly.
Who knows, maybe she is my miracle child...maybe I'm not meant to have any others. I do have one and I do love and cherish her (even if I have moments of utter frustration with her)... I keep going through the "what-if" and "why"...Why did we wait so long? what if the birth control screwed this up for me?
We are not giving up...far from it...but I might as well cherish the one I have.
Oh, and please, please do not say "Well, you had one so having more should be easy." or "Be happy with the one you have."... It does not help and should be added to the list.
Yes, I just went there...I am a blogging virgin...well, was, until today. I have decided to start a blog about many, many things...about this Hampton life of mine and almost all that it entails. I say "almost" because I will not speak freely of my husband's job, so please do not ask here.
I am slightly scatter-brained sometimes, so my writing may reflect that and I am sorry if I confuse anyone or do not use proper English or whatever...but this is a blog, not a doctoral paper.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy some of my ism's through my writings...
For as long as I can remember, the only thing I have EVER wanted, was to be a mom. I never imagined it would be this hard. What an amazingly horrible emotional struggle that I would not wish upon anyone. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to have my almost 3 year old daughter, but we have been trying to give her a sibling for quite some time now and it is just not happening.
I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
We have been tested and I have been medicated with all sorts of things, the latest being Clomid. The fertility clinic had me do a clomiphene citrate challenge test (CCCT)(Read more about that here.) and apparently I failed it. Not sure exactly what this means now, what step is next, but apparently, Clomid did not help me to ovulate, which means...no baby...again.
It was not this hard to get pregnant the first time. The first time was just a mix of provera (progesterone) and metformin (glucophage). This time, we have been doing all of that and now added to it, Clomid.
Top 10 things that have not helped us in having a baby... 10. Sex...(no problems there) 9. Reading books about how to have a baby... 8. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome... 7. Crying, bargaining, and begging... 6. Pillows under butt... 5. Being asked "When are you going to have another baby???" 4. Doctors...(although they are trying to help) 3. BBT and OPK...(basil body temp and ovulation prediction kits) 2. Holding other people's babies... 1. JUST RELAXING........................... Please refrain from suggesting any of the crap listed above. All other suggestions are welcome.
So, for those of you wondering, right now, I am a bit bitter and defeated but what will be will be...eventually.
I stepped on the scale today and discovered I'm down 3 lbs from last week. Not as much as I would hoped for, but...considering I haven't been exercising, and I haven't been doing THAT good on eating...I am happy with losing any.
