Monday, October 21, 2013

October ICLW

Well hello there fellow bloggers! 
This is my 5th ICLW and I look forward to reading other's stories, finding some new blogs, and hopefully gaining a few more followers on mine. I haven't done this for since October of 2 years ago.

"It'll happen when you least expect it"
Well, I suppose that is a true statement for us...though NOT what you want to hear when me, I know!
We had a huge surprise this July when I found out I am pregnant with #2. I am 17 weeks right now and doing well, though I still have a hard time believing it's real sometimes. Especially after trying to conceive (TTC) for almost 5 years for a second child. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter that is the light of our lives, but wanted so badly to give her a sibling.
I say this baby is a surprise because after all of the unsuccessful fertility treatments we truly thought that it just wasn't going to happen for us and we were to a point where we had accepted that. We had sold all of the baby items and though the thought never fully left the back of my mind when I'd see 'fertile' signs, I never thought I would ever see another pregnancy test with 2 lines.

Some history
I am 33 years old and My Love is 35 years old. We have been married over 12 years.

My Love is in the military and is always in and out of training and deployments, so TTC timing was always difficult, but we did fertility treatments for over 3 years, including supplements, weightloss (kind of minimal), fertility drugs, and 6 failed IUI's.

My daughter: At about 25-26 years old we decided to TTC cycles were happening for me though, a year later, went to the Dr....tests and tests and tests later, low and behold I have PCOS. Got on Metformin and Provera...2 cycles later, BFP! 9 months later and some pretty scary complications in the end...a beautiful baby girl! Her birth story.

Anyhow...5 years ago, in August, we started TTC#2...I was already on Metformin and taking Provera to get things going...
Not happening.
Seek RE.
Clomid resistant...start injectibles...
2 years of fertility injections,
6 IUI's,
all BFN's...
Only positive pregnancy test I've ever seen resulted in that beautiful baby above.

Just because I had one, didn't lessen the want or hurt for another, though I wish I could say it does. Secondary infertility is horrible and traumatizing and hard. I do have my daughter, yes, but I want so badly to give her a sibling, to give My Love another child, to hold another baby of mine in my arms (and hopefully not miss out on the birth!). I ached for this and because I have a young daughter, we go to school, birthday parties, and playdates with mom's who have had their 2nd and 3rd children in the time we had been trying for one more. I put a smile on my face and cried on the inside.

typical PCOS ovary w/1 large follicle

It was so difficult to talk to most anyone about infertility because so few people can truly comprehend it and when you're going through it, there isn't much else that you can think about. It's emotionally draining and time consuming...and it HURTS. This is why I started this blog so long ago.  Writing my blog and following others (some through successful pregnancies, and others that haven't hit that lotto yet) is what got me through the last many years.

My plan is NOT to turn this blog into a pregnancy blog, but I will occasionally post about the pregnancy. Not because I'm trying to hurt anyone going through fertility, but because we did end up with another chance...another miracle. 

Needless to say...someone is pretty excited!!


  1. How cool!! I'm new to the ICLW but love the idea! How cool you are 17 weeks too!!! I love the pic of your daughter!! So sweet. We paid extra for an early ultrasound. when is your anatomy one? Ours is at 18.5 weeks, Halloween!! do you have any gut instincts on yours??

    1. My Dr's office will not do one until you are at 20 weeks, so mine is scheduled for Nov. 12. I'm just going to hold out and wait for it to find out. Honestly, I'm guessing we're having a boy, but hey...I have a 50/50 chance of it going either way, right?! I love that pic of my daughter too! She has the best smile on her face in it! Did you have any feelings on yours?

  2. Hi from ICLW! I just wanted to say congrats on your second little miracle! I have PCOS too, so I know how hard ttc can be. I'm so glad that you were able to give your daughter a sibling, she must be so excited!

    1. Thank you! It is such a difficult journey for so many and it's one of those things you don't hear a lot about until you're going through it yourself.

  3. Stopping by from ICLW - nice to meet you, and all the best with your pregnancy. :)

  4. Love that picture with your daughter, she is so pretty! Here from ICLW. Congrats on your second! It sounds like you have been through a lot. All the best for a healthy pregnancy!

  5. Congrats on baby 2. Stopping by from Iclw. Lovely pic of your daughter. Do you plan to find out what you're having of let it be a surprise?

  6. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I am thinking that with the secondary infertility it is a bit different pain - you know what you want! I want to feel my baby inside me again and breastfeed again. Since I tasted it once, it is an addiction now. But we have to balance cost of fertility treatments with costs of living and providing for our baby. I know a few stories where a second baby was a natural miracle (I still hold onto hope myself, but with the start of my FET, I doubt that can happen). I hope that your pregnancy and birth are easy and uneventful!

  7. Hi from ICWL! What a wonderful photograph of your beautiful daughter! A hobby of yours? I wish you all the best with your pregnancy! So happy for you that your dream is coming true :-)

  8. Congrats on your pregnancy! Super happy for you.