Thursday, October 24, 2013

18 weeks tomorrow!

I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow. Feeling the baby move more and more...little wiggles in the tummy. It's a very good and re-assuring feeling. 

At my last OB appointment we scheduled my anatomy scan ultrasound for November 12. I'm excited, though a bit nervous for it. 

We also discussed how she would talk to the MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) (high risk) about monitoring me and the baby in the third trimester. Many women have issues with the first and second trimesters, but they (and I) are not worried about those two. The third trimester was the scariest one for me. That was when we almost lost my beautiful daughter. That was when my instincts were completely wrong. That was when the Dr's saved her life. When medical intervention was absolutely necessary...and I fought it. I couldn't be happier that they actually listened to my needs (so far) and are taking my concerns seriously.

That being said, I'm pretty sure I'll be doing an elective repeat C-section for this baby. I will not fight for a VBAC like I had really wanted at one time. I don't want to go through the hours and hours of labor just to end up with a C-section again anyway and a miserable recovery because of it. Also, I'll be able to schedule things easier: my mom to come help me, My Love to participate as much as possible from overseas, and my daughter to be taken care of.

I wasn't sure I wanted to do a "bumpdate"...for so long this has been an infertility blog...full of hopes and dashed hopes, full of pain and sorrow, full of stories of my older daughter and my wishes for her...but I AM pregnant again. There is no denying that and, in the end, this is my, here goes: 

How far along: 17 weeks 6 days!

How big is baby: bell pepper

I have been feeling: Tired, occasional headaches, have to pee...all the time, hungry, stuffy, swelling...

Total weight gain/loss? About 4lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight...but I think it's all in my boobs! 

Maternity clothes?  the belly band things from Target are my friend! Some maternity shirts and I only have one pair of maternity pants (capri's).

Sleep? I wake up a lot and should take naps more...

Best moment this week? Feeling much more baby flutters!

Food cravings? Nothing specific...cheesy things sometimes

Food aversions? super sweet things, fried things, meat

Gender?  your guess is as good as mine!

Labor signs? Thank God, no. 

Belly button in or out? in

What I miss? drinking a beer once in a while...or spiked coffee! 

What I’m looking forward to? My ultrasound in a few weeks
I’m worried about: is baby ok?

Bump? Yuppers!

Monday, October 21, 2013

October ICLW

Well hello there fellow bloggers! 
This is my 5th ICLW and I look forward to reading other's stories, finding some new blogs, and hopefully gaining a few more followers on mine. I haven't done this for since October of 2 years ago.

"It'll happen when you least expect it"
Well, I suppose that is a true statement for us...though NOT what you want to hear when me, I know!
We had a huge surprise this July when I found out I am pregnant with #2. I am 17 weeks right now and doing well, though I still have a hard time believing it's real sometimes. Especially after trying to conceive (TTC) for almost 5 years for a second child. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter that is the light of our lives, but wanted so badly to give her a sibling.
I say this baby is a surprise because after all of the unsuccessful fertility treatments we truly thought that it just wasn't going to happen for us and we were to a point where we had accepted that. We had sold all of the baby items and though the thought never fully left the back of my mind when I'd see 'fertile' signs, I never thought I would ever see another pregnancy test with 2 lines.

Some history
I am 33 years old and My Love is 35 years old. We have been married over 12 years.

My Love is in the military and is always in and out of training and deployments, so TTC timing was always difficult, but we did fertility treatments for over 3 years, including supplements, weightloss (kind of minimal), fertility drugs, and 6 failed IUI's.

My daughter: At about 25-26 years old we decided to TTC cycles were happening for me though, a year later, went to the Dr....tests and tests and tests later, low and behold I have PCOS. Got on Metformin and Provera...2 cycles later, BFP! 9 months later and some pretty scary complications in the end...a beautiful baby girl! Her birth story.

Anyhow...5 years ago, in August, we started TTC#2...I was already on Metformin and taking Provera to get things going...
Not happening.
Seek RE.
Clomid resistant...start injectibles...
2 years of fertility injections,
6 IUI's,
all BFN's...
Only positive pregnancy test I've ever seen resulted in that beautiful baby above.

Just because I had one, didn't lessen the want or hurt for another, though I wish I could say it does. Secondary infertility is horrible and traumatizing and hard. I do have my daughter, yes, but I want so badly to give her a sibling, to give My Love another child, to hold another baby of mine in my arms (and hopefully not miss out on the birth!). I ached for this and because I have a young daughter, we go to school, birthday parties, and playdates with mom's who have had their 2nd and 3rd children in the time we had been trying for one more. I put a smile on my face and cried on the inside.

typical PCOS ovary w/1 large follicle

It was so difficult to talk to most anyone about infertility because so few people can truly comprehend it and when you're going through it, there isn't much else that you can think about. It's emotionally draining and time consuming...and it HURTS. This is why I started this blog so long ago.  Writing my blog and following others (some through successful pregnancies, and others that haven't hit that lotto yet) is what got me through the last many years.

My plan is NOT to turn this blog into a pregnancy blog, but I will occasionally post about the pregnancy. Not because I'm trying to hurt anyone going through fertility, but because we did end up with another chance...another miracle. 

Needless to say...someone is pretty excited!!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

16 weeks pregnant...still seems weird to say...

I honestly never thought I'd be saying that I was pregnant again. I know that I am still having a hard time accepting and enjoying this pregnancy because of that. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy...but scared. I'm excited...but unsure. I have to admit that the Doppler Fetal Monitor that a friend is lending me is very, very helpful to become more excited about this whole thing. Hearing the baby move and kick and hearing the heartbeat is pretty cool.

I didn't move the wand while making this video.

I'm in my second trimester now and man, I couldn't be happier that the nausea has gone away almost completely!!!!!!! Oh morning, afternoon, and evening sickness SUCK! I was sick the WHOLE time with my daughter, so I'll take this blessing of not being sick right now. I'm also already showing. I never showed with my daughter until I was much further along.

I don't really have many baby things yet, but am working on figuring out what I will need. I know some things have changed and that some new research has come out about certain products so I am doing some research and taking suggestions. I'm not really worried about it because I know things will fall into place and I'll end up with the essentials for the baby.

It's not going to be the easiest pregnancy and birth to go through. Mostly because My Love will deploy while I am pregnant and will miss the birth and several months of the baby's life. Fortunately through technology, he will still get to see the baby and us. Also, we're lucky that we have many friends in the area and family that will visit to help things go smoothly.

Anyhow, I have been putting this post off long enough, it's time to post it!