October ICLW

Well hello there fellow bloggers! 
This is my 4th ICLW and I look forward to reading other's stories, finding some new blogs, and hopefully gaining a few more followers on mine.


I am 31 years old and My Love is 33 years old. We have been married over 10 years.

My Love is in the military and is always in and out of training...only adding to the stress of TTC, but it is a good life and I am proud of him.


My daughter: At about 25-26 years old we decided to TTC #1...no cycles were happening for me though, a year later, went to the Dr....tests and tests and tests later, low and behold I have PCOS. Got on Metformin and Provera...2 cycles later, BFP! 9 months later and some pretty scary complications in the end...a beautiful baby girl! Her birth story.

Anyhow...3 years ago, in August, we started TTC#2...I was already on Metformin and taking Provera to get things going...
Not happening.
Seek RE.
Clomid resistant...start injectibles...
1.5 years of fertility injections,
5 IUI's,
all BFN's...
Only positive pregnancy test I've ever seen resulted in that beautiful baby above.

Just because I have one, doesn't lessen the want or hurt for another, though I wish I could say it does. Secondary infertility is horrible and traumatizing and hard. I do have my daughter, yes, but I want so badly to give her a sibling, to give My Love another child, to hold another baby of mine in my arms (and hopefully not miss out on the birth!). I ache for this and because I have a young daughter, we go to school, birthday parties, and playdates with mom's who have had their 2nd and 3rd children in the time we have been trying for one more. I put a smile on my face and cry on the inside.

typical PCOS ovary w/1 large follicle

CURRENTLY: I am doing NOTHING. I had to go on birth control pills because I had a HUGE cyst in my left ovary. It is gone, I had my cycle in the middle of the pills, I'm on CD 19 and not sure I will ovulate at all this cycle. I can say that nothing is happening for us this month. :(




I love my miracle daughter and stay-at-home with her right now. She just started going to pre-school for 2 half days a week and she loves it.

I go to school online full-time and I help organize a large playgroup in our area. I love taking photos and I like to talk (a lot) which is part of the reason I started a blog...so I could stop talking my fertile friends ears off...they don't want to hear this stuff and I know & understand that.

Despite it all...

Despite any bad news I could report about my life, I am still happy and I still have the most important things around me. I could choose to focus on the whiny complaints, or I can try to focus on the good things. I can choose to put the stress aside for a little while everyday and just try to be joyous.
I am not looking forward to some of the upcoming events, but I know I can get through them, especially with the support of my family and friends (and all of my bloggie friends!)...

We need guidance

Needs prayers of guidance right now. My heart is telling me one thing, and my head is telling me another about a situation that I have absolutely no control over. And no, this has nothing to do with fertility, but it does have to do with family.

My husband and I have been praying about this situation for a long time now and both of us feel the same way about the situation, but are not sure how or IF to approach it.

What have you been up to?

I haven't written for a while...
Been doing some thinking, a lot of praying, and have been busy with some other stuff.

Really, really enjoying reading my new series of books, the Outlander series...just got the second one today and am SUPER excited!!

Basically, it's about an English woman (nurse) who lives post WW2 with her husband and they go to Scotland to research his family history. While there, she finds a mini-stone henge and gets sent back 200 years in time to medieval Scotland. Then the story becomes a whirlwind of war, deceit, family, living pre modern medicine, rape, love, outlaws, and more! It's a fantastic story and I love the characters, Claire and Jamie!

I was drawn even farther in on the fact that Claire seems to be barren (or infertile) with her first husband after trying for years and, with no luck, tries to deal with it emotionally. The very last page of the first book, while she is with Jamie, she tells him she is pregnant though! 

Anyhow, can't wait to start the next book!

Photo Credit

Tonight I will be making my fantastic, famous pumpkin pies and my mouth is already watering! Ooooohhhh yummmmm!!! Pumpkin pie with a gingersnap crust... (I stole the photo, but this is not the recipe I use). I'm glad because I will be sharing it with a friend of mine that I haven't been able to hang out with in a while. She and I are having a girl's night at her house...dinner and drinks. :) Yay!

Let's see...been working on homework. Been trying to find ways to make some extra money because money is ridiculously tight right now.

Nothing really new on the fertility front...the cyst is gone, still on the birth control pills...my body hates me. I could bitch and moan about this person or that person who I watched them announce their pregnancy at week 4 are ready to deliver...about my friends who's kids are already 1 or 2 in the time that we have been TRYING to have a second...but, it does no good. I'm glad that they have had healthy babies and healthy pregnancies, I really am happy for them. I know how blessed I am to have my miracle. I pray for those that have yet to experience the miracle of motherhood whom want it so badly and I pray for those babies who live with parents who don't want them. I don't have a "next step" yet...I am just trying to enjoy the beautiful daughter I have.

Loved this little guys face!

Everyone has to eat...

I have been searching for quite a while for a consultant with Tastefully Simple to get some Garlic-Garlic dip...I had this dip about 7 years ago and still remember it very fondly.

That being said, I asked all of my friends if they knew someone who was a consultant, always with the same response...none.

So, I decided...what the heck...if none of my friends know someone...I should become that someone. So, I signed up to become a consultant for Tastefully Simple. I LOVE their products and it's been great to try them out again. My Love and I are really enjoying the Beer Bread  and the dips, and the apple cake and so much more!

The food is great and a great price too! I am excited to help add some income to my family and get to eat some great products in the meantime! Yay!

Custom made castle bed for your prince or princess

What a fantastic birthday or Christmas gift!!


Custom made castle bed for your Prince or Princess!!


This unique bed is a fantastic themed bed that your child will absolutely love! These beds are made to accommodate a twin size mattress (not included) or even a bunk bed (add additional $250 for bunk).


 

This unique loft bed is strong and durable. This bed can support well over 1000lbs and is great for adding much needed storage space to a child's room. Each step up is a storage box.

Photos are shown with an 8' ceiling. This height of bed would be perfect for a 10' ceiling, but if you have 8', we can lower the bed down slightly to give additional room.

The beds can be built and painted in any two colors you choose. Additional custom painting is optional (vines, brickwork, etc).

This bed can grow with your prince or princess and eventually have a desk and work area underneath for homework.

The kids LOVE this bed! 

This bed is a steal at this price!



This is the bed we made for our daughter. Prices start at $1500.

All beds are made off-site and assembled for you in your child's room.
NC and surrounding states only please. (Delivery fee may be applicable)

My Ovaries Hurt...

Apparently having a humongous cyst in your ovary hurts...really...I have had to deal with my polycystic ovaries for some time now, but those are usually small cysts all over inside of my ovaries and they never hurt. They have been giving me pains on and off for a few weeks and yesterday the ultrasound showed one cyst at 25mm and it does not feel good. Dr. P. and Nurse D put me on birth control pills for at least the next month to help get rid of the cyst. This cyst is leftover (I'm positive) from the last cycle where I had 2 follicles...1 of which was a cyst, and 1 was an egg.

See, for those of you that don't know, this cyst will gobble up all of the good egg making hormones and continue to grow unless it is suppressed by other hormones (the birth control pills) and with the cyst there, regular eggs cannot develop. Soooooo, that being said...nothing is happening for us. again. There really never is good news for me to share with the world fertility wise...each time I go it's a disappointment of one kind or another.

That being said, we just got word of deployment news very soon, so I am just going to say that I think we're done. We will not quit "trying" until he leaves, but that pretty much leaves us a few months to do what hasn't happened in 3 years, so I am pretty sure it's 1 baby for us, and a beautiful one she is too. My ovaries physically hurt from the cyst, and my uterus aches for a baby, but my head and my heart know that I have the one child, my miracle, that I was supposed to have.