Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Someday will be my day...

So, in the past two weeks, I have had 4 people I know come up of which was not trying and the baby was unwanted...the other 3 have been trying for a while and I honestly am happy for them. I just wonder...why not me? When will it be my turn?
It's easy for all of you who are pregnant, or who get pregnant SUPER easy, to tell me to "stop trying" because GUESS WHAT? I can't! I can't just stop wanting and I can't stop "trying" because I have to have medical intervention at this point in my life to be able to ovulate to make a Gosh darned egg to come out to GET :p.
My best friend just had her second baby and a TON of people I know are pregnant right now...everyone I see in the stores, restaurants and everywhere else I go are pregnant or have brand-new is just kind of a pity-me day and I'm frustrated and scared. Scared that our next step, Artificial Insemination, will not work, and then who knows what...I don't know...I guess I should just keep focusing on me and losing weight...AAAAAAARGH. stupid body.

And on top of all of that...two of the ones that are pregnant were my confidants in this struggle...and now I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. I am tired of talking about it to people who CAN'T understand (through no fault of their own) and now I feel like they can't either...they, of course, now just will be your time soon. AND I'm sure my friends are tired of hearing about it from me...just makes me sad.

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