Sunday, September 18, 2011

I feel like a failure...

Really, how normal is it for a 4 year old who was actually a good kid with few and far-between temper tantrums to have 2 in one week? And I'm not just talking about crying over not getting something...I am talking about kicking me, biting me, throwing things at me, hitting me, pulling my hair, screaming temper tantrums??

What am I doing wrong and how the hell do I fix it?

We were at a birthday party today and she threw such a fit over a minor thing. I sat her down, got her to calm down, talked to her about it, and then she started it all up again, with the "can't catch your breath crying" about something stupid...so I picked her up and told the hostess we were leaving...and then it really started...YELLING, SCREAMING...the whole thing...I took her to the car and she wouldn't let me put her in the carseat...

I know, you're thinking "how could a 4 year old stop an adult from putting her in the carseat?" well...I'm not a little person, by any means...and my daughter is little...and she was flailing her arms around, kicking me, grabbing my hair, trying to bite me, arching her back, taking her arms out of the straps...I gave up. I told her she didn't have to wear her seatbelt and that we were still leaving. I walked around and got in the driver's seat...(before you freak out...finish reading)...she is TERRIFIED of not being in her carseat, so when I started the car up, she buckled up very quickly, but then resumed her fit...so bad that I pulled into a parking lot a block away and got out of the car and stood behind it. As I got out, I simply said "I love you. Goodbye."

I let her scream a good 2-3 minutes and then I got back in and drove home...
It's horrible and I don't know how to stop her from doing it.
It's embarrassing.
I have NEVER seen a kid pitch a fit that bad...(at least not to my knowledge) and this is the 2nd one in 1 week!!! The first one she was so upset, she threw up. Here...look at the video!
video


She even told me "I don't like you!" and "I don't want you"

So...after this week...I'm ok with only having one child...I just feel like I'm failing at this one...

3 comments:

  1. You are NOT a failure... your child has decided to be the boss. When you convince her that YOU are the Mother and SHE is the Child, you'll be on your way to PEACE.

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  2. Take it from me... they ALL do it! Tantrums are the first step of "trying to be boss". They are used to being Pampered, Getting their way, and getting by with things that were "CUTE" when they were younger. However, because they got by with it before, they think they still can. All you have to do is "Reclaim" your position as the Mother and make her understand that SHE is the CHILD! I found that the Firm-Stern tone of voice and a good "Butt-Bustin'" works well. After one good one, all you'll have to do is threaten a "Butt-Bustin'". However... NEVER,NEVER,NEVER do it when you are mad... you have to be calm and firm and be the example, DO NOT show her your "Temper Tantrum". Children immulate what they see. Especially when it comes from a parent. Don't worry... you are not a faliure.. you're just being a mom. But, now it's time to take Charge!

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  3. Hi, again. Morgan also has the Tantrums with Eddie and Tracy. However, he had one here at my house with a house full of company. I took him upstairs, (actually dragged him), and he was fighting all the way. When I got him to my room, I sat him on the edge of the bed and we had a STRONG talk and he kicked me. OOPS, a move he later regretted! I just stared at him while I calmed down... he sat with a Shocked expression, while still screaming and trying to kick, (I held his legs down)...then I turned him over my lab and got his attention!! I explained that he WILL go down stairs and tell his mommie and daddy he is sorry and won't do it again. I also explained that IF he does it again, we will "take the walk" (upstairs). After that "Walk", all I have to do when he starts to "act-up", is say, "you want to take the walk?" He says in a sad voice, "No mam". Eddie and Tracy have tried the "butt-bustin'", but... they give in too soon. Now, they just say, "if you don't straighten up, I'm calling "Nonna"! :0) Because you are with her 24/7, it will take a little time for you to regain your position.. but, have faith and be consistant. Don't be mad when you disapline her, but be STERN and get your point across. Afterwards, send her to her room and take away her most loved activity such as TV, Favorite toy or game, etc.. You're not alone with this delima and you are NOT a falilure. Call me when you get a chance. Love ya, "Sami"

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