Attention problems?

Have you ever dealt with a child with attention problems? Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?

One of my best friends is struggling with her son being diagnosed with this (Along For the Ride) and I know of many others. My brother-in-law, my father-in-law, my nephews...

It is hard to think that a child just simply can't control themselves, but that is what it is like for them...for some kids, it's like they have ants in their pants...or brains...and just can't stop doing whatever it is that they are doing (talking, squirming, bouncing) and others pull away from crowds or can't concentrate on anything that is not "stimulating" (television, video games). Some kids, even if it is stimulating, can't concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes either. It's easy to say that they just were never made to, or that they don't want to, but it's literally because they CAN'T. They don't know how. With the right kinds of counseling and possibly medication though, it can be controlled and the child can learn to control themselves.

Did you know that ADD and ADHD are three times more likely to be diagnosed in boys than in girls?!?

Did you know that the symptoms are different between boys and girls?  Girls tend to be more forgetful and disorganized rather than hyper or too busy, but ADD and ADHD come in all kinds of forms.

Being a parent, you never expect that YOUR child could be suffering from something like this, but it is definitely possible...Pay attention, see if your child needs help...you don't want them to be the kid at school that never pays attention, gets bad grades, or is always in trouble...help them.

If you have dealt with this and have any words of encouragement for my friend, please leave her some loving words on her blog. Thank you!

What if it's me? What if it's not?

For anyone who has been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully for over a year (under 35 years old) or over 6 months (over 35 years old) both partners should get checked out...but sometimes, that is such a hard step to take. Some people are almost afraid to find out why taking temperatures, knowing the signs, and lots of sex don't work.

Many women assume it is them, while men assume that they are the reason that they are not getting two lines on a pregnancy test. Someone is going to feel at fault in their heart until there is a diagnosis, but there should be no finger pointing and no one should feel at fault. If it's a male fertility issue or a female one does not and should not matter, it is simply a fertility issue and it is something you and your spouse should work through together.

I have some dear friends who have been off of birth control for a few years, who have timed, temped, vacationed, relaxed, stressed, tested, and all of the stuff that people do after trying for sometime but they have not gone to see a Dr. yet...

They need to go see a Dr. They need to get everything checked out. You never know...the problem maybe something so easily fixable that it wouldn't take drastic measure to be able to hold that bundle of pure joy in your arms soon...or it might be a really tough journey ahead. There is no telling though, until you go get checked out. Both of you.

What could it hurt to find out? Probably nothing, unless one of you is willing to let it hurt your pride, your ego. If one person believes that it is their "fault" it will hurt...and I totally "get" that. I feel like it is my "fault" sometimes that I can't get pregnant...even though I know I had nothing to do with the medical situation I am in...

Bottom line...go get checked!

I've been robbed.

I feel like I've been robbed. I'm so....lost...frustrated...sad....and I know no one wants to hear it. My Love says he's done. Says he doesn't want any more kids. period. I feel like I've been robbed...

by the way...this is not his fault...I don't even blame him. Blame lies elsewhere.

Carry it for me...please

I'm not sure how I want to word this yet, so I'll start by saying that I think I am stressing out too much or something.

I have so much going on right now in my life. Our family went from the three of us to basically having 4.5 year old twins (with getting my nephew), I'm still going to school full-time, I have started working, and my husband is scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan within the next month. Just to add to that joy, I have all of a sudden been getting these weird headaches for every evening for the past several days. The past couple of days I have had a bit of baby fever and resentment and have been trying to hard to keep my mouth shut and not make snide remarks on social media. I have oftentimes found that it doesn't help my heart to do that, so I just don't.

I know many people in my life that would tell me to stop complaining...I got the second child, the son, I have always wanted...No. I don't. I love Lil Man, as a nephew. I will treat him as my own child. I will provide a loving, caring, warm, happy, healthy home for him...while he is here. This is not intended to be a permanent placement for him and I can not treat it as such. He has his own parents and they want him back.

He is NOT the baby I wanted. I want to be pregnant again, to feel my baby moving around and being cocooned in safety inside of me. I want to see my husband holding that tiny little baby after he (or she) was born, watching the love bloom and grow. I want to watch him put him to sleep on his chest and see the wave of peacefulness wash over My Love as his baby sleeps on his chest. I want to watch Victoria with her brother (or sister), helping to teach him things, hold him, love him, protect him, guide him, cuddle with him.

I don't know if our baby seeking story is over. The balance of wants/desires have changed for me. I have more moments where I have accepted my "only" child than not. I have less and less moments of the deep-seated desire for a second child. I had started coming to terms with it before the last failed cycle. I am ok if V is our one and only.

This wasn't supposed to turn into an infertility post. That's not where I meant for it to go, but it just did.

This post was going to be about how I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle all of these stresses in the upcoming months. This post was going to be about how everyone tells me how "strong" I am and how I can do this...I just wish someone could carry some of the stress for me...
 

My nephew

A lot of people have been asking me about my nephew. All of a sudden he is in all of my photos, and my posts on Facebook...Well, he is living with us for a little while. His parents are doing what they can to put their lives together to get him home with them, but until then, we have opened our home to him. He is a sweet little boy who is about 2 weeks younger than our daughter. The kids fight, of course, like all kids do, but usually they get along fantastically. We are all figuring things out together with the changed dynamics in the household and, I won't lie, at times it is really hard. Anyhow, the long and short of it is that for now he lives with us.

And here is Pirate Captain A's bed:

You'd better run child!!

We went to the park yesterday for some outdoor time because it was absolutely gorgeous outside yesterday. It is the end of January and a t-shirt and jeans was more than sufficient. The kids played on the playground for a little bit

After they got some playing out, we all wanted to go on a nice little walk on the paths around the park. The trails there are very pretty and it's a nice place to enjoy nature...except when Lil Miss decides to take off running. That alone wouldn't be the problem, but Lil Man decided he was going to walk with me...and I'm sorry, but that is a NO-GO with this mom. You need to exercise and get some energy out...GO! ...nothing...Run!!! Nope...he refused...so, I ran. I ran for the first time in a LONNNNNG time to make sure he ran. It hurt. I'm not going to lie to you...I have TERRIBLE knees and it hurt, but I didn't stop because I refuse to have a little boy in my house who can't keep up with a girl. Sorry kids.  He lagged behind us, but he kept running (though he complained about it almost the whole way). He will get faster as we do this more often...and I will probably do better as well. I'm thinking we go for another jog today (and maybe I'll wear better shoes).

And, as you can see from the photos below (when we finally got to the second playground at the park) he was none the worse for the exercise.

He finally ran ahead of me so I could snap a picture...

Chore Charts, Allowances, and Savings!

So we have made a chore chart for the kids...I'll let you know how it works for us...modifications may need to be made.
They have alternating days on some things or alternating times of day. 
I have made it color coded, Yellow=morning, Blue=evening, Purple=anytime.

The kids will start getting an allowance ONLY if EVERYTHING on the chart is done each day. Each Sunday we will dole out allowances. I am thinking $.50 a day. At the end of the week, they will each earn $2.50 spending money and $1.00 will go into a savings jar for each. At the end of a year, that is $130.00...not bad money for 4.5-5 year olds. They will each have saved $52.

I know some people think that chores don't let kids be creative, or steal their childhoods, but you know what? I did chores as a child and I'm ok. Also, it teaches that if they make a mess, they need to clean it. I like to have a clean house and I don't like having to get onto the kids about it, so if they are rewarded for doing it, I think it will be better. I wanted to add more to it, like folding laundry, unloading the silverware from the dishwasher, dusting, cleaning windows, and more, but we will see how this list goes first. I may add an "extra credit" type of chore list for them each later (or just an extra page).

Next, I went with $.50 a day because it is something they can see fill up a coin jar. They will get paid in quarters. It also allows us to work on math, coin counting, and more.


Why the savings? Well, I think it's important that they learn how to manage their money. I wish I had better learned how to do that while growing up and it's something I still struggle with today. If they only fulfill two days worth of chores, they will earn no money that week, but the $1 will still go into savings. Sorry kids responsibility is tough, but at least you don't have to pay taxes!