I must be insane...I have been trying and trying and trying to get pregnant each month...and each month I hope, pray, and beg for different results, but each month it ends the same...bitter disappointment. Why do I say this already this cycle? Big temperature drop back to my coverline...so far, it hasn't been wrong, so just a matter of time before my favorite house guest (Aunt Flow) shows up (did you catch the sarcasm there?). I don't know what it will take?!?! I see people get pregnant that are much more unhealthy than me in many ways, we all see it, so why is it so hard for me? I have friends that are pregnant with their 2nd child in the time we've been trying 1 more. I have friends who accidentally got pregnant, who "weren't trying", or "just started" trying.
I know people who take drugs, drink, don't believe in God, live crazy stressful lifestyles, and they don't have problems, so PLEASE do NOT tell me I have to be healthy, have to not drink, have to eat all sweet potatoes and spinach, pray, get right with God, or relax...
It is SOOOO frustrating!!! My soon to be step sister just had her second. She is trashy, drinks, smokes and does who knows what drugs. Her mom had the guts to tell me that if its meant to happen it will. So her trashy kid was meant to have two kids that my dad is now gonna have to take care of, but I'm not! I was SOOO angry! I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteOh and thanks for the comment on my blog :)
I truly wish I knew what to say or do to help give you some peace with this struggle, Ericka. You are an amazing mother and person and don't deserve to be dealing with this. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteAlicia
I can relate...I used to feel the same way about people who drank or did drugs while pregnant and still managed to have normal kids... I felt life was terribly unjust that my child was disabled, even though I did everything 'right'. It took a LONG time for me to get over feeling that way. I'm still jealous of people who seemingly effortlessly have normal children. But I know that I'm blessed with a wonderful child, and I never take her for granted. Don't take what you do have for granted, wishing for what you don't have.
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